


lime milkshake

by lokh



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Biting, Cloaca, Gills, Illustrated, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-22
Updated: 2014-02-22
Packaged: 2018-01-13 08:53:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1220167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokh/pseuds/lokh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>erisolsprite and davesprite get into some weird positions trying to fuck™</p>
            </blockquote>





	lime milkshake

**Author's Note:**

> Heck yeah! Sorry it starts off in the middle of things. One day I might go back and fix that.

“Okay, look, if you’re gonna fuck me then just- hn _nggh!_ ”

And you’ve just cut yourself off with pretty much the most embarrassing chirp-slash-moan demonic hybrid screech baby from the depths of hell and that _cannot_ be sexy at all, it was the most potent boner killer, it’s you, but his fucking double pounder alien bulge _jumps_ and holy shit if that’s what a jump feels like then you’re down for a whole goddamn cheerleading routine.

Then it goes ahead and does one.

(Metaphorically speaking.)

"Oh my god oh my god what the fuck holy _shit_ ,” is what you think you say, but most likely it came out as one long jarbled whimper because they’re squirming deeper and around, they’re stretching you open and god you just want to

"Holy shiit, you’re so fuckin’ wet," he’s mumbling behind you, and no, he is _not_ fucking allowed to say anything, not when he’s dripping bright fucking green down his tail and yours, and you might have a bird vagina now but it clearly does not compare at all to an alien nook or whatever and wait, that’s not right.

"Okay," you say, "okay, we can do this. We’re making this happen."

"What the fuck are you mumblin’ about-"

It’s pretty much the most awkward position you’ve ever been in, essentially lying on him with your ass and tail in his face since you don’t have any legs, but the fact that he doesn’t either makes this whole ordeal easier as you pull him up and throw his tail over your shoulders. You’re not even sure that this is going to work, but if it doesn’t and he pulls out and like flies off flipping the bird in more ways than one it’s going to be the absolute worst and you are going to just lie down and cry dripping wet and all, so it’s pretty much got no choice but to work.

Carefully, you push into him.

“Dude, giive a guy some fuckin’ warning, holy _fuck_ ,” he stutters, and shit you fucked up now, his body is tense as all hell underneath you and his breathing is Morse code and you murmur an apology half into his skin, but he hasn’t pushed you off so you count the little blessings until he calms down moments later.

“Is that iit?” he says, and great, he’s regained his breath just to fuckin’ snark at you, “’cause I’ve gotta say, that’s a biit disappointin’.”

“Look, just” chill out and wait a moment, not everyone’s got freaky double alien tentacle genitals like you alright, I can’t just do the hokey-pokey with my dick I gotta actually be moving, pelvic thrusters on full and going Warp 4 through the nth dimension i.e. your nook but you’re making that kinda hard because I’m sorta writhing all over the place so how about you just stop for a second so I can get this starship started, Kirk out.

You didn’t get any of that last bit out, did you? It might have to do with the fact that you’ve started moving and if he was complaining about you being wet then hello, pot to kettle, he’s been hiding a whole goddamn ocean down here and you’re a man that’s been thirsty for years. Any sort of embarrassing sound you could have made has been drowned out by the obscene squelching and his agonized moan, so it does the double helping of saving face and being super hot. Everything comes in twos with this guy and you can’t say you’re complaining.

He’s muttering profanities and every thrust into him is one against his bulge(s?), forcing him deeper into you and forcing you deeper into him, and you’re not even trying to cover up the sounds you’re making anymore god you just want him not to stop, then you just catch him saying, “shiit, get your fuckin’ wings outta the way, I can’t see a goddamn thiing,” and before you can even think about stopping him he’s combing his fingers through your feathers then _tugging_

__

You most definitely do not coo and you do not goddamn shudder.

“Oh my gog, you’re iinto this,” and wow, way to go captain obvious, then the asshole’s tugging at your wings again and you melt into him, mouth sloppy against his tail and body frustratingly lax and you’ve almost stopped moving altogether except to roll down on his bulge (though a more accurate word would be ‘squirming on’) and pull his body towards you. Something’s running gently down your back and you can’t help but shiver, and at that he tugs even harder and god it’s like hair pulling but so much stranger, so _intense_ (and you’d know, Bro pulled your hair once, _only ever once_ during a strife and if your gross-ass moan wasn’t the fastest way to end a fight but now is _not the time_ )

Then he tugs a bit too hard and you manage to groan, “dude,” and he stops, smoothing out your feathers in the most apologetic manner you’ll ever get out of him, and without warning he rolls forward so that he’s on top and it’s your tail that’s over his shoulder, and no, you are not fucking taking his shit today, this is _not_ happening.

You push up against him in an attempt to regain your position, and he gives a satisfying groan for your efforts, but then he pulls at your wings again and that’s downright fucking dirty, that is _completely unfair_ and you’re grumbling this into his tail but the fucker’s just smirking and he actually thrusts into you, simultaneously twisting and writhing and for a moment everything flashes white and when the rush of blood recedes from your ears all you can hear is your own ragged panting and his trembling laugh and _no,_ you are not finished, not until he’s fallen apart and come so hard he becomes _two fucking people_.

Your tail wraps around his waist and up his torso and you haul him down, a surprised shriek spilling out of him as he topples and slides half beneath you, but before you can pull him back up and resume your initial position he’s rolling onto his fucking side and seriously what’s he trying to do, he’s trying to goddamn roly-poly himself out of this situation or become a fucking Katamari and _it’s not going to work_ and the two of you have devolved into mindless wrestling and you’re both rolling back and forth, a right ouroboros wheel of two fucking losers like a unicycle with too short pedals and you’re not sure that troll bulges can go soft but apparently bird-hybrid dicks can and you will if nothing happens in the next _five seconds_ and whoops you just bit his tail by accident

and he warbles out a breathy moan.

You chance a look back at him, because you’re slightly concerned that he’s stopped moving completely and it couldn’t have hurt that badly could it, if anything being prototyped with a bird should have made your teeth non-existent, or at least duller, but his eyes are hazy and his mouth is half-closed and trembling, and at his drawn-in brows you realize that holy shit he’s actually _conflicted_ , unable to decide whether he actually likes this or not and you would laugh because his dick sure seems to like it but this is a perfect fucking opportunity and you are definitely not going to waste it.

You bite down even harder and he gives a startled half-shout, something halfway between a ‘fuck’ and a ‘coddamnit’ and then shit he’s back to feather pulling but you’re ready for it, you mouth at the bite wetly and beneath your lips his whole body is shaking and you coil your tail further up his body and wait, what the flying fuck was that? Something thin and flimsy and frilly, and your tail probes it and it opens up a bit and he honest to god _wails_ and holy crap, those are his gills, his fucking pretentious scarf must have slipped off during your tussle and shit that’s hot and his grip has loosened just enough for you to pull him back up and just to make sure he doesn’t try to pull any more shit you sink your teeth into him as deep as you can and you think he might be sobbing, you really hope he is, then you realize he’s saying something and it’s ‘stop, stop dude ii can’t’ and  you flatten your tongue against his skin.

Suddenly his hands are on your hips and fuck he’s thrusting up, everything’s moving inside you and he’s squeezing around you and you can’t believe you almost forgot that you’re balls deep in him too (metaphorically speaking) and you can feel him shudder inside you when you desperately thrust into him and oh my god

oh my god “oh my god dude no no no no I can’t, don’t I’m gonna oh my _god_!”

When your breathing comes back to you, you realize you’d muffled your shout into his skin, and bright green is dripping down his tail and yours and that’s, that’s a lot of fuckin’ jizz, holy crap. Carefully untangling yourself from him, you realize that a lot of that jizz is actually _yours_ and they’ve combined to make some sort of weird lime colored milkshake and it’s making you kind of hungry and _jesus_ are you glad you’re not the one that has to clean this up.

“I’m not cleanin’ this up,” he says, after a minute, and you snort, slowly setting yourself down beside him and shaking out your wings for good measure.

“Well, I sure ain’t either. Just wait for it to be absorbed into the earth, A grade fertilizer, birthing the next Pando, shit’s spreadin’ till it’s colonized the whole goddamn planet, our sperm slash whatever the heck aliens got the literal salt of the earth and giving rise – ha – to new civilisations and in hushed murmurs passing on the secret to life, the universe and everything.”

His face is not appropriately impressed at your metaphor. He slides on his glasses and huffs. “And what’s that, you beiing a huge fuckiing dork?”

You twine his tail with yours.

“Fuckin’ gay sex, man.”


End file.
